Dreams and a vision

I stumbled across the movie, "The Day After" and it reminded me of a dream I had a few months ago.

I was in a tall building on a high floor and I was at work. The buildings windows were very high and all glass. I went over to the window in expectation as did all my coworkers as if I knew what I would see. I repeated over and over again to myself, "remain calm" because I would soon be with God so there was no reason to panic. I could see the missiles in the distance. They were white with red striped circles. As I looked at them in the sky I kept bracing myself for the heat I knew I would feel when the missiles hit. I saw more than one and they were all coming in the direction of the building I stood in. As they hit the building I could feel the heat in my dream but I continued to take deep breathes trying to remain calm. As I dreamed I was conscious enough to feel myself breathing this way in reality as well and I also felt some heat. The entire time I was at peace.

Since a few months before my spiritual father went to be with God, I have been dreaming. Another dream was of a church service on Sunday morning. I sat in the back pew and as the service began I looked over to my left only to see a visiting preacher. As I looked closer he looked at me lasciviously and full of lust. I looked away disgusted. He then took out a guitar and was smiling lewdly while watching the congregation and playing his guitar. He wasn't human..he was something else. He drooled and seemed to be laughing at us. Another dream which I think was linked to the previous one was a preacher came to my church and the pulpit was filled with ministers, including my spiritual father, his wife and daughter. My father was watching this man as was his wife they could tell he was evil. The praise team was singing about worshiping money and my fathers daughter along with many others in the pulpit were worshiping with their eyes closed and hands high in the air in worship. The worship song was solely about money and the praise team sang as if they were singing about Jesus. This evil preacher began urinating on the pulpit and as my spiritual father tried to stop him, the preacher was "transported" behind the pulpit door. This door is wood however in my dream part of it was glass. The preacher stood behind it and my father as well as his wife were unable to open the door. They tried to open the door to reach this evil man but were unable to. Then the preacher laughed at them..and just continuously laughed at them while the others on the pulpit were still in worship to the song about money.

Another dream was that my church family and I were on a large cruise ship. I was on my floor talking to a good sistafriend when the Holy Spirit began to speak to me. He told me to flee because the fire was coming. He also told me to let everyone on the ship know. He remained with me as I began telling everyone I saw that the fire was coming and we had to jump. Some church memberse continued about their day-business as usual. There were some who refused to leave without first going back to pick somthing up or insisting that they couldnt leave without certain items. One sister I pleaded with and had to convince to leave her baggage and jump. Another member I simply told about the fire and he commanded that his entire family follow him and jump. My husband then told me it was our time to go, I kept telling him I was afraid of heights but he said he would show me how to jump so that I wouldnt be afraid. He then demonstrated how I should jump overboard and I did. There was no water around the ship and I wasnt able to see what we were jumping to.

The last thing I want to blog is more of a vision than a dream. I was on our annual womens retreat and was in early morning prayer. I prayed as best as I could -it was very noisy. Then I sat up in my chair. I was trying to pray when I suddenly saw a witch crawling on the ground and she was dressed like a cartoon witch, tattered clothing and all. She seemed to be old and she was eating everything on the ground. She just crawled and ate never really looking up at me watching her.

I believe God is sending me dreams and I believe that we are in the last days which the bible speaks about. The rapture will take place soon and a simple study of bible would lead anyone to that conclusion. What I am not sure of is what all these dreams mean or what I am supposed to do with them. I have received interpretation of some of them by God however I am still unsure about a few. I am willing to continue to dream dreams and see visions if thats what God wants for me.

Just wanted to document them...thanks for reading

Nik

I've been living in MEDIOCRITY

me·di·oc·ri·ty   [mee-dee-ok-ri-tee]

noun, plural me·di·oc·ri·ties.
1.the state or quality of being mediocre.
2.mediocre ability or accomplishment.
3.a mediocre person.

1 Corinthians 9
The Need for Self-Discipline
24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. 25 Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26 Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. 27 No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
The New International Version. 2011 (1 Co 9:24–27). Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.


During my reading this morning the verses above were cross references. I was reading 2nd Timothy and meditating on the gift that is in me and what I have or have not done with it. The more I think about it the more I feel convicted. I also read Matthew Henry's commentary which had a great quote,"The hindrance of usefulness in the increase of our gifts is slavish fear". Can you say ouch? I can. Fear of not knowing where God will take me with this gift, fear of not being adequate enough, fear of failing, fear of EVERYTHING! The words slavish fear brought me face to face with the fact that this fear has enslaved me and although I have used and stirred up my gifts, it's always been my way not Gods.

I am supposed to be in STRICT TRAINING to get that imperishable crown and to show myself ready and approved to God. Instead, I find myself being lazy or hesitant to go further. Paul said he isn't going to beat the air but instead discipline himself so that he doesn't miss out on what God has for him. He was deliberate when it came to the things of God. He deliberately disciplined himself or practiced his gifts. He'd submit himself to Gods sanctification process rather than create his own path to God. My way, my path and my process lead me to my prize, not God's eternal prize. Instead of being on my way to heaven I'd possibly be on my way to heaven or possibly miss the narrow way which leads to destination HELL.In running this race in mediocrity, just trying to make it across the finish line I am limiting God and allowing my past to dictate who I am. Just because "good enough" was good enough for my parents, why am still living under that same glass ceiling when I am new creation in Christ Jesus?

I am setting goals for myself and/or reaching for things that are in my reach already LOL. The joke is my goals don't require supernatural help or opportunities to watch God make ways for me. These verses are challenging and like a mirror for me. I look at Paul who is working hard and living to please God even when he has to strike a blow to his body, and I think when was the last time I struck a blow to mine. The last days are here so it's time to stop beating the air and start striking some blows to my flesh in order to submit to God. The joke is God wants the best for me yet I continue to choose the mediocre life behind door number 2. It's like being on a game show..all the angels and even God Himself is screaming at me "Pick door number one!!", I'm gripped with fear and think "what if they are wrong or door number 1 requires too much work?" "Thank ya Jesus but I'm going to have to go with 2nd best sorry..GIMME DOOR NUMBER 2!" I can just see the angels shaking their heads and saying "Are you serious?"

Moving from this good enough life into an excellent life isn't going to be easy but discerning I am there in the first place is an eyeopener for sure. It's time to stop quoting Philippians 4:13 -I can do everything through him who gives me strength- and start living it instead.


Nik

HUH?

Why am I up?? Sitting here contemplating my next move in my life. I was listening to David Jeremiah's sermon title, "A bend in the road". It gave me much to think about.

This unexpected bend in the road has at times caused me to run to the foot of the cross knowing that.. Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. However when I have down time and my mind isn't busy I become mildly depressed. I realize the depression stems from my lack of trust in God. Intellectually I am certain that God is real and that He is always in control but emotionally I find myself on a roller coaster ride. This journey of surrender and resting in Gods plan is one that requires discipline. It's much easier to feel sorry for myself and rationalize a few months of ME TIME or to have a pity party which would include my favorite things-sinfilled or not. I am choosing to keep pressing towards the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Jesus. I want to meet Jesus and I want to please Him with what I have left of my life even though it will mean discipline and saying HELL NO to my flesh.

Am I disappointed and saddened by Geico's decision to fire me..YES! I honestly loved the company and gave it my best most of the time. I tried to be a positive person and encourage as many coworkers as I could. I may not have been the best but I did my best. I was fired for being late and I was late. Do I believe my lateness's should've resulted in being fired...NO. I have noticed in the last 3-4 years of working at Geico the focus is no longer on employees, building moral or relationships its now a numbers game. Dollars and cents has become the bottom line. In the past year or so I had some major changes in my life but that wasnt taken into consideration in fact my manager didnt even ask me how my personal life was. In spite of this I am choosing to believe God has something else for me.


My plans so far:
Study Study Study the Word of God
Pray Pray Pray and draw closer to HIM
Visit the Hair Design Institute
Volunteer in my local juvenile detention center as a mentor
Lose weight and eat healthier Visit my sisters in TN..cant wait
Continue getting my house decorated
Help my husband with his business by learning more about the immigration laws

So far so good..these things will take discipline and sacrifice but I am up for it. I am blessed to live in a country where I can study the Bible, change careers at 41 and actually eat less. I refuse to take my life for granted. I have wasted many years as a young woman..details to be revealed when appropriate...but as a believer in Jesus I will not waste many more.

Until next time...

The Forgotten Blog

I haven't posted anything in a very long time. I have been extremely busy. In fact I have possibly been too busy because I got fired yesterday. YUP FIRED! After 10 years of hard work, encouragement and loyalty..FIRED. Although I was fired by man I know that God is in control. I certainly wish I could send this post to Geico and have the managers read it LOL. I am a daughter of the King of kings and Lord of all. I will have moments of sadness and shock but I know that all things work together for good for me because I love God. So my GRCC-my church is on a fast until 5/27/12. I haven't been on my best behavior for the past 2 days but I am getting back in the saddle. I have been praying that I make it into heaven no matter what God has to change or reorder in my life. Then I wondered will my job be something that He will take away. A few months ago the Holy Spirit led me to read Job-chapter one. Then I realized that somethings in my life were going to change in order to lead me to a more intimate relationship with God. If this is going to lead me to knowing Him more intimately then I welcome this death. I am afraid of course but I am willing to see what new adventure God has planned for me. I am going to take the advice of my friend and sister -take your time. I need to slow down my life and see what God is up to instead of expecting God to catch up to me and work on my schedule. I am a control freak and my attempts to limit God and show Him what parts of my life He is allowed to touch are what has brought me to this point. My assistant pastor made a statement that God hedges in new believers-this wasn't my experience at all. I immediately was thrown into the fire. I now see how this caused me to begin putting up my guard towards God and not truly trusting His plans for me. Now I have time to reevaluate my walk and whether or not I am really in "The Way". I also have time to blog..LOL.

FL-SH

I left out the vowel intentionally, kind of like how some Christians and Jewish folks spell G-d. Flesh has been an idol for me more than I'd like to admit in 2011. Fasting sunk way down on my to do list and so has most other forms of crucifying my flesh. Grace..if it wasnt for the GRACE of God I would be most miserable. When I get discouraged and down on myself for not meeting my expectations I have for myself. I remember that 5 letter G word and how Jesus laid down His life for me. He considers me His friend and sister, and I consider Him my God and my Savior. He has freed me from the bondage I chose to enslave myself to over and over again. I chose slavery and He has given me freedom. I can say I am glad to be aware that I have a choice as well as the freedom to choose. This is a great time to lay down my life before God and allow Him to search me, try me and know my heart. I am willing to hear from Him as he reveals any and every wicked way in me and points me in that straight and narrow path that leads to Him.cI absolutely love the adventure of being a disciple of Christ!